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George At 

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The New Mutants

This latest horrible attempted re-imagining of the XMen series has been sitting on the shelf since 2018. Suffice to say that it's clearly past its sell date, because THE NEW MUTANTS is rotten. It stinks. Toss it in the dumpster immediately.

A bloated, stupid introduction of angst-ridden teens with super powers, its like a Marvel movie that's been focus grouped to death my social warrior snowflakes who demand a 50/50 balance of guilt about their powers with the mild (very mild) fun of seeing them unleashed.

Blu Hunt is incredibly dull as Danielle Moonstar (you could have a contest for which of those names is more manufactured) a Native American mutant who wakes up in an institute that's more "Cuckoo's Nest" than XMen school.

Her fellow young cast members are variants on the same dull spectrum. Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones) is a gay wolf, Charlie Heaton is a super fast hillbilly (I had no idea that white trash was underrepresented in entertainment), Henry Zaga is a rich Latino and Anya Taylor Joy is an angry Russian girl...let's see.....okay that hits all the inclusive hurdles.

Oops, that left no room for a comprehensive story, a compelling adventure, anyone we care about on any level or suspense of any kind.

There are two minor laughs, 14 eye rolling, groan inducing moments, zero moments of awe and plenty of time to doze during its brief 94 minute running time.

Consider this. At one point when two of the mutants begins to battle and use their powers against each other during a baby mutant therapy session (check that one off, focus group) the only doctor we EVER see on staff (budget cuts in the film or the staff?) Dr. Reyes, suddenly demonstrates powers. But wait, the doctor has powers? Shoudn't that be a major plot point? No one even mentions it....It feels like there is another 30 minutes of this movie on the cutting room floor. I can't imagine that footage could be dumber or more boring than what they've left in.

Director Josh Boone has landed a real turd here. His heavy involvement in the new CBS All-Access miniseries version of Stephen King's "The Stand" now scares the hell out of me. Let's hope he learned something from this absolute mess and improves for that upcoming event. (UPDATE: Boone is consistent. The Stand is horrible.)

There is NOTHING new about THE NEW MUTANTS. It's old fashioned garbage pressed through today's factory of PC demands that renders every mutant a whiny little a-hole.

What a shit show. It gets an F in every category.

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