Remember that feeling back in 1999 at the end of "The Blair Witch Project" when you sat there and thought "THAT'S IT! What a ripoff!!"
If you purchase this new documentary on iTunes or PPV, be prepared to experience that same sinking feeling.
Look, its got a GREAT trailer. The first ten minutes start strong with effectively creepy music and a lot of narrator set up promising something very scary, a breakthrough to paranormal activity! OOH! We are going to see proof caught on camera!
As it starts, I'm thinking, Okay, good 4K photography, clever titles, awesome music, they are doing a lot with a small budget.
But soon, that creeping feeling you get after watching a season of "Ghost Hunters" sneaks in and you realize there is nothing inside this shiny package.
It's the kind of movie loaded with "experts" that seem to live in houses with wood paneling and old TVs. They clearly aren't making any money being experts, so they cant be THAT good....
Cameras are ever present. Let's make a midnight journey back into the woods behind the house and try to record EVP proof or paranormal sounds from spirits!! OOOOHHHH! cool! Hmmm.... why is that when you hear the voices on these recordings, they never sound like Mercedes McCambridge in "The Exorcist". That would be scary and I'd need an adult diaper. Alas, the voices always sound like your neighbor, "Come here!" just isn't that scary when it sounds like Mary next door.
But wait, The filmmakers have recorded actual PROOF that the house is haunted! Fasten your seatbelt kids, this is going to be terrifying!! And then you realize its basically film of a baseball on the stairs that seems to roll all by itself down the steps.
The first time, its kind of creepy. But by the third viewing it just deserves a shoulder shrug and by the 15th viewing, it feels like the sequence in "JFK" detailing the Zapruder film.
It's a ball. Not scary.
But WAIT! The narrator says as the last ten minutes loom. "The House wasn't done with us yet. This is so terrifying that we're going to show you this footage in real time!" and then you sit and watch, another review of a not so scary event.
A couple doors open and close by themselves. If you are scared of doors, this thing is going to scare the crap out of you.
For the rest of us, it's a slickly produced big bag o'nothing. This thing should have been called House of Smoke and Mirrors, cause there is nothing to see here folks.
I would give it an F, but I have to admire that these salesmen behind this movie produced enough slick materials to convince me to buy it. I love a good salesman. But not when a buy a brilliant looking box to unwrap it and find nothing inside. I'll give it a D. Don't fall for it my friends!
Комментарии