The Bluff
- 3 minutes ago
- 3 min read
The Russo Brothers have plundered all my built up goodwill with their ridiculously predictable, daft new pirate movie THE BLUFF.
How can a film so packed to the top of its treasure chest with action be so dull?
I can't fault the two leads, who do everything they can with two underwritten roles.
Priyanka Chopra Jonas (Quantico, The Matrix Resurrections) is here to kick ass as Ercell, the wife of a sea captain raising a teenage girl and boy.
Their little home on a stunning tropical island (the film was shot in Australia standing in for the Caymans and it looks amazing) appears idyllic as the era of the pirate comes to a close.
But her husband, Captain T.H. Bodden (perfectly cast in Ismael Cruz Cordova) has just had his ship plundered in the film's opening sequence by a huge pirate ship four times the size of his vessel. It's a visually stunning set piece that's the best in the film, owing as much to John Carpenter's "The Fog" as it does "Pirates of the Carribean". It looks great and sets a tone that the rest of the film never comes close to matching.
The evil leader of that huge pirate ship is Captain Connor, the last of his breed and an infamous presence across the seas. Karl Urban ( Star Trek, The Boys) is terrific as Connor, a revenge obsessed madman.
He arrives on the island, looking for Ercell, who turns out to be more The Bride from "Kill Bill" then quiet homemaker.
The arrival scene is decent, with Connor and his murderous crew spreading real terror in their quest to find our heroine, but shortly after that scene on the beach, the movie bogs down into a predictable mess of exposition and one too many pirate movie stereotypes and some pretty run-of-the-mill CGI crocs.
In addition to Chopra-Jonas and Urban, there are some good moments in the adventure, mostly thanks to the cinematography of Greg Baldi (The Grey Man) and the lively non-pirate like music by Henry Jackman (X Men: First Class, Captain America: The Winter Soldier). He manages to avoid everything you'd expect in a sea shanty score, with multi levels of modern action music highlighting the brawls.
Chopra-Jonas also obviously trained like mad for all her fight scenes, which are well staged, bloody as hell and pack a punch.
New Zealand actor Temuera Morrison (The Mandelorian) is a standout as Connor's Quartermaster Lee. He manages to convey some powerful storytelling and owns the screen whenever he's on it.
Maybe if the screenplay had invested just a moment or two more in the backstory, I would have had some connection to the characters. As it sits, I'm just wading through the sandy beaches and dark caves for the next action scene.
Urban manages to get some of the best dialogue in the film and has no groaners, but poor Pryanka is saddled with some one-liners that would have made Arnold roll his eyes in the 80's.
If you want to see a great film climax staged on a cliffside in 2026, run to see Sam Raimi's hugely enjoyable "Send Help". Sadly, a film actually called "The Bluff" can't manage one surprise moment in its big climax near the edge of the island.
The Russo Brothers have delivered some of my favorite action spectacles of the past 20 years, including "Avengers: Endgame" and "Captain America: Civil War", but this is the second film in a row as producers that shows no signs of any storytelling spark behind the visual effects. Their last movie, "The Electric State" was one of the worst films of 2025.
Sadly, their new pirate flick will surely be wallowing in the brig in competition for those honors in 2026.
THE BLUFF is all booty (not the money variety) and no treasure, floating a bloody trail of chum all the way to a D.
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