Sometimes on a hot summer day, you just want to dive into a great shark movie! The toothless new effort THE BLACK DEMON is the worst shark movie I've seen since "Jaws: The Revenge".
Let's list it's strengths......
Yeah, I can't think of any.
It will be a lot more enjoyable to look at it's inept failures.
* First, the GCI mega shark is cheap, murky and never scary. If it looked half as good as the poster, this could have been fun. As goofy as "The Meg" was, it's special effects were fantastic.
* Josh Lucas needs a new agent ASAP. How the star of "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Ford V Ferrari" ended up in this dreck is beyond me. Maybe he got a great vacation out of it.
* Lucas is clearly just stunt casting of an American star in a Mexican film. Not since Lorne Greene was cast in the Japanese 1973 import "Tidal Wave" has an American appeared so desperate.
* The entire cast is pretty bad, overacting so much that I started to think maybe this was just a telenovela with a giant shark in it. Fernanda Urrejola is wince-inducing as Lucas's wife.
* Lucas's character Paul is not going to win any father of the year awards. He drags his entire family deeper and deeper into danger, ignoring warning signs so big, Scooby Doo would have run for the hills. When he left them in a dumpy bar to go out to the oil rig, tipping a bartender he met two minutes ago to "keep an eye on them", I just started shaking my head.
* Steven Seagal's godawful "On Deadly Ground" now has competition for the Worst Ecological Messaging in a Major Motion Picture. The last half of the movie spirals into what I can only imagine would be Al Gore's nirvana of a shark movie. No one rented this crap to hear poorly scripted messaging on Mother Earth pushing back, just get that damn shark on screen and have it eat these big oil company bastards! (We'll get the message at that point.)
* When Paul is putting on a scuba mask he says, "Ain't got no spit," duplicating Hooper's line when he gets in the cage in Jaws. Don't you DARE reference the greatest shark movie of all time, don't even think about it!
Stupid, boring and completely without scares, THE BLACK DEMON and its poorly rendered, megaladon daddy shark sinks to the bottom of the ocean and gets an F.
I just saved you an hour and 40 minutes, now go watch "Jaws 2" on it's 45th anniversary month!
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