The Sword and the Sorcerer

In the early 80's, there was an onslaught of fantasy swords & sandals epics in theaters. 1982's THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER is memorable for its adult mix of gore, sci-fi like weapons and the easy charm of its cast.

It also makes little sense and is pretty damned goofy at times, but you can't have everything. I hope the dude in charge of all the fire effects got plenty of overtime, he was clearly busy!Watching the film again, it made me laugh a lot. (Thanks Tubi!)

Richard Lynch, who I'll always remember as bad buy Moon in 1973's"The Seven Ups", has a field day as King Titus Cromwell. No, not THAT Cromwell, history buffs. This king mostly lusts after power and the hearty bosom of Princess Alana. Kathleen Beller plays Alana, displaying the same wooden acting that gave us all splinters in the camp 1978 Harold Robbins classic "The Betsy" and TV's "Dynasty".

Lee Horsley (TV's Matt Houston and a Tarantino player in "Django Unchained" and "The Hateful Eight") is a lot of fun and brings the perfect attitude to the hero role.

He's all George Michael Wham-hairdo and brawn as Talon, tossing off one liners and lethal sword attacks without ever messing up his carefully manicured coif.

I'd describe a bit of the story for you, but there really isn't much of a story, just a revenge thru line and a whole lot of people trying to conquer lands and bed wenches, each with their own priority among the two.

A giant Richard Moll (Night Court) is enjoyable as a sort of demon/Golem thing that shoots light out his XXXL press on nails and pulls the beating heart out of adversaries two years before Mola Ram used the same stunt against Indy in "Temple of Doom".

A gallery of b-list actors pop in and out, spewing regal dialogue and dripping buckets of blood and sweat. Simon MacCorkindale (Death on the Nile, Jaws 3D) brings Shakespearean thespian attitude to the proceedings while George Maharis (Route 66) wonders around a bit lost in his last big screen role.. He seems like he can't figure out if this is a serious film or a Monty Python flick.

It's always great to see Jeff Corey (True Grit, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) show up in any role and he gets the tone perfectly, right alongside Horsley.

Three bladed swords that seem to have rocket propelled launching are put to good use as the film slips into comic heroism in its last hour. Horsley's Talon brings the same tongue in cheek line readings that Ford gifted Indy with through his film legacy.

This is NO Indiana Jones film, but it's a lot more fun that those Cannon film knock offs that plagued cinemas for more than a decade.

The special effects vary between cheap and impressive for the day.

Fans of "The Deep" might recognize that this marks the second battle to the death between characters portrayed by Robert Tessier and Earl Maynard. In "The Deep (1977) their battle to the death was legendary, including the use of an outboard motor in a boathouse. It's a much quicker face off here.

Back in the 80's, this was VHS gold at the video store and built a great cult following after it hit Blockbuster. I rented it so many times that I ended up buying a copy.

You'd think after all those viewings, I'd be able to decipher the plot.

I don't think they had time for one, but audiences didn't care, driving it to $40 million at the 1982 box office.

If you're looking for cheesy, VHS era fun, doused with occasional buckets of blood & gore, THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER delivers plenty of action, laughs, knights and damsels in distress in grand B-movie style. It gets a C+.

But please, please, don't come in looking for a coherent plot.

It moves way too fast to bother......