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Jonathan Livingston Seagull


Does everyone my age remember when the razor thin book by Richard Bach JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL came out? It was like Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album when it hit, EVERYONE had to have it.

About the size (and carrying about the same emotional intelligence) as a Sunday Target ad, the book told the story of a seagull that wanted to fly higher than any other bird, achieve great things blah blah.

Filmmaker Hal Bartlett had only made documentaries but decided he just had to bring this wonderful book to the screen.

Oooof.

Here's the good news.

Neil Diamond wrote a terrific score and many songs for the film that have become classics for him since.

Of course if you're not a fan of Diamond, move that to the bad news column.

More good news:

It's only 90 minutes long.

Bad news:

EVERYTHING else.

This is surely one of the most boring films ever made. It's basically 90 minutes of seagulls flying around with voice overs from actors as the birds talk.

Richard Bach had a major fight with the filmmakers because he wanted them to animate the birds mouths talking and Bartlett insisted on voice overs only.

I have no idea who was right, its just excruciating.

Roger Ebert famously said of this movie that he left 30 minutes in because Jonathan had found a way to fly higher above the garbage and he thought he should do the same.

He also noted that "the movie is based on a book so vapid and meaningless that it had to be sold to adults because children would have seen right through it". LOL Can't say it better than that.

Oh, I just thought of more good news.

If you ever have incurable insomnia, just turn on this aviary turd. You will be asleep in 15 minutes.

Put on the soundtrack album by Diamond and enjoy, but skip this silly, preachy nonsense.

I felt like a statue under a flock of pigeons watching this. It went on forever and the crap just kept coming at me.

I'll ground this flapping monstrosity with an F.

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