Fountain of Youth

Just once, I'd like to see a Guy Ritchie movie end as well as it starts. FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH does nothing to buck that trend.

Just like "Argyle" it starts off with a bang. Two of them actually, as a Thai version of "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" pops through in Dolby Atmos glory and our camera swoops down into an action scene in Bangkok.

Stunning camera work, exotic locations and a game John Krasinski as Luke Pardue, an Indiana Jones-like smart ass obtainer of antiquities.

So far so good!

What does Luke have and why is half the world after him?

We meet Eiza Gonzalez, who was so great in Ritchie's far superior, recent film "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare". This time out, she stars as Esme, a chosen protector of some vast global secrets that wont be divulged here.

Gonzalez is a bad ass and always brings violent action, so she's more than welcome as the pursuit continues on a long train ride.

Meanwhile, back in London, we meet Luke's sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), an art curator at a major London museum. She's chosen the less adventurous path, one her son Thomas (a fun Benjamin Chivers from "Napoleon") calls boring. She's at the start of an ugly divorce and on rocky ground.

Luke arrives, involves her in the strangest art theft on film since Pierce Brosnan blazed the screen in "The Thomas Crown Affair".

Dapper London Detective Abbas (a terrific Arian Moayed) arrives on scene and begins to wonder if Charlotte's lept to the adventurous side of the family.

Meanwhile, mega billionaire Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson from "Ex Machina") reveals he's dying of cancer and is devoting all funds necessary to discover the literal Fountain of Youth.

It's a great hook, especially in the first two thirds of the film, loaded with that "DaVinci Code" like mythology that author Dan Brown has cultivated into a hugely enjoyable science. Truth, history and fantasy collide and Luke, Charlotte and Thomas are off on a fun quest, traveling in Carver's state of the art jets to stunning locations.

The budget on this Apple+ film must have been enormous. It looks and sounds fantastic and expensive. And for awhile, its pretty damn fun!

The raising of a sunken ship, hidden basements under the Austrian National Library, massive discoveries in the Pyramids of Giza, yes, yes and yes. All hold a lot of laughs, action and Ritchie's patented visual style.

But once again, the final act is botched beyond repair.

Think about what Spielberg and Lucas got SO right in "Raiders of the Lost Ark".

The entire film was a roller coaster of laughs and action, but just when you think it couldn't top itself, the final opening of the Ark delivered jaw dropping chills and thrills.

I'm not going to detail what happens in the final act here, other than to say it feels like Ritchie and team either ran out of ideas, or they got so damn excited about the sets and the special effects that they forgot to edit it into an actual finale.

It goes on waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long and left me a bit sleepy.

What a let down.

Some have called Krasinski's Luke annoying, self centered and unlikable. I disagree. Have you ever met a globe trotting archeologist/thief that wasn't self centered? I think that's half the point in getting the job done. The weak link in the cast is Portman for me. She never really sparks in the role. I'd rather see a film about Luke & Esme's adventures, Gonzalez is an action star of the highest order.

After its third act slide into the mundane, this FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH comes up a bit dry, earning a C.

Maybe Ritchie should make a few LESS films and focus on creating one whole one for the audience, as he did so well with Gentlemanly Warfare.

He's got style to spare, but where's someone to edit and hone the vision so the finale lives up to the premise?