Oh. What. Fun. Not. So. Much. An immense waste of a talented cast, this new Prime holiday movie is like a gorgeous stocking loaded with empty boxes. None of the actors are going on the naughty list, giving their all against a very weak screenplay that lands only a few laughs and zero emotional heft. Michelle Pfeiffer (The Witches of Eastwick) plays Claire, an overworked Mom trying to create a PERFECT Christmas for her grown children, who are all flying in for the annual Yuletide get together. The always hilarious Denis Leary (Rescue Me, The Ref) is sadly underused as Claire's husband, Nick. How you can take one of the funniest guys on the planet and leave him stuck in the garage building a Barbie house for half the film is beyond me. The most fascinating part of the role is how Leary's Boston accent comes and goes in intensity. Felicity Jones (Rogue One, Inferno) nails her American accent as daughter Channing, who arrives with her husband Doug, (Jason Schwartzman) their kids and a lot of baggage in tow. Claire and Nick's son Sammy is a pampered underachiever, well played by Dominic Sessa. He's a great actor and made an all-time great holiday film with "The Holdovers" in his film debut. At least when Sessa's on screen, he holds your attention. Chloe Grace Moritz (Let Me In) is given very little to do as Taylor, who shows up every year with another new girlfriend, each one "amazing and the love of her life" for a few weeks anyway. It's great to see Joan Chen (The Last Emperor, Twin Peaks) as Jeanne Wang-Wasserman, Claire's neighbor across the street who seems to have nailed every aspect of the perfect holiday. Any time that Chen and Pfeiffer are squaring off, it gives the film a brief moment of comic spark. Claire spends the first quarter of the film obsessing over her children nominating her as Christmas Mom of the Year for her favorite daytime talk show starring Zazzy Tims (Eva Longoria). As her quest for the perfect Christmas spins out of control and everyone else in the family delves into self centered antics, Claire takes off on what's supposed to be a hilarious journey of self discovery on Christmas Eve. If that quest was funny, or emotional, or enjoyable, it could have been fun. Poor Pfeiffer is stranded in a WB sitcom level, predictable script by Director Michael Showalter. I have no idea what went wrong here, as Showalter has made some really good films before, including "The Big Sick". I also enjoyed his Sally Field film "Hello, My Name is Doris" that came out ten years ago. This one is a stinker. At one point, Claire, out of the blue, decides to shoplift, delivering a slapstick scene out of "Mall Cop" that's never funny or believable, just stupid and so out of character that the only laughs come from Felicity Jones and her startled reactions. Jones was probably just wondering how her agent booked her into this holiday titanic. Halfway through, I was trying to compare who's accent comes and goes more, Pfeiffer's Texas drawl, or Leary's full on Bwoston. Since he IS from Boston, I assume he was just letting it rip at varying degrees. At one point early on, Claire is narrating our tale and talks about a lot of other Christmas movies. For most of the second half, I was thinking about how much I'd rather be watching any one of those movies than this one. Oh. What . Fun. What. A. Mess. It gets a D.

As a huge fan of the 1994 remake, it was time for me to revisit the original 1947 film, MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET . Nominated for 10 Academy Awards, this first-class production features a stellar cast and enough holiday cheer for ten films. Edmund Gwenn won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Kris Kringle, who steps in to be Macy's Santa Claus when he finds their parade Santa more than a bit tipsy on Thanksgiving morning. Gwenn gained 30 pounds for the role and looks the part! After Kringle nails the gig (for obvious reasons!), Macy's Doris Walker (the radiant Maureen O'Hara) hires him to be their Department Store Santa for the season. The film is loaded with now classic moments 75 years after it first hit theaters. Doris's skeptic daughter Susan is famously played by a very young Natalie Wood and she slays it. Her doubting side glances at Kringle as he pours on the holiday charm are priceless. I loved when Kris starts recommending other stores for gifts that the children in his lap are asking about. A lesser script would have found a far less charming way to handle that, the twists and turns provide a lot of fun. It's a twist that echoed in "Elf" many years later. John Payne plays the Walker's neighbor, a Manhattan lawyer who's taken a shine to Susan and visa versa. They have an easy charm together and their group matchmaking makes the film a lot of fun. Gene Lockhart (Carousel) is perfectly cast as Judge Harper, who oversees a courtroom trial to see if Kris Kringle is of sound mind. The screenplay by George Seaton (Airport) who also directed, is a seamless, well oiled machine of holiday cheer, big laughs, romance and suspense. William Frawley (Fred Mertz on "I Love Lucy") is also great as Harper's campaign manager who's more concerned about his client going against Santa Claus than any actual merits of the trial. The heart of the film is Gwenn's performance as Santa Claus. He's perfect in the role, and was the ideal model for Richard Attenborough's performance in the remake. Gwenn IS Santa Claus! Maureen O'Hara famously said, "by the time we were halfway through the shoot, we all believed Edmund really was Santa Claus. I've never seen an actor more naturally suited for a role." When Gwenn accepted accepted his Best Supporting Actor Oscar, he said, "Now I know there's a Santa Claus." In 2006, the film was ranked number 9 on American Film Institute's 100 Most Inspiring Movies of All Time. It's a holiday classic that gets an A, but to be honest (and if we've learned anything from "Love Actually", its that you're ALWAYS honest on Christmas) I like the 1994 remake just a bit better. Dylan McDermott has an edge over Payne and Bruce Boughton's score is one of his best. You can't go wrong unwrapping either one for Christmas!

A funny, heartfelt and unique blend of hand drawn & modern animation, KLAUS is a beautiful Christmas origin story for the whole family. Combining CGI lighting techniques with hand-drawn animation, Writer/Director Sergio Pablos creates a stunning looking film that visually pops. It took me back to the look of the Disney/Don Bluth cartoons of the 80's and early 90's. The voice cast is excellent and full of surprises. Jesper (Jason Schwartzman) is a spoiled college kid who's grown up with everything he's ever wanted handed to him. His Dad, the Postmaster General, has given him every chance to prove himself, but Jasper's efforts have been a chilly zero. He banishes his son to the most remote, icy post office in Europe, high up in Smeerensburg, telling him if he doesn't establish the location with 6000 letters the first year, he'll be cut out of the family fortune. To say Smeerensburg is remote doesn't do it justice. It's not called "the unhappiest place on Earth" by accident. Even worse, it's run by two warring factions Hatfield & McCoy style, who haven't spoke in years, have forgotten generations ago what they are fighting for, but are still 100% hilariously committed to the battle. Will Sasso is laugh out loud funny as the none-too-bright head of the Ellingboe clan. Jesper's guide to his new home is the local boatman that brings him there, Mogens, voiced by Norm McDonald in his last film role. McDonald is perfect in the part, which has obviously been written for his dry, sardonic delivery. How will Jesper establish the post office? Will any of the townspeople ever welcome him? Even the local school teacher Alva (Rashida Jones) has no students, the kids are all to busy fighting with their rival clan kids. When Jesper meets local toymaker Klaus (JK Simmons), a bond slowly builds and the two begin a partnership that will transform the town and the world. Pablos fills the story with great one liners and physical comedy that will make 3 year olds laugh as hard as their grandparents. He also cleverly reveals an alternate take on how many of our most treasure Christmas traditons got started. Klaus and Jesper become a formidable comic duo as they face every obstacle imaginable in changing the centuries-entrenched minds of the local population. At it's heart, the film centers on how one act of kindness becomes many and the power of the Christmas spirit of giving. It's a deft blend of family fun, big action sequences, broad comedy and just the right amount of Christmas heart that will put a lump in your throat. KLAUS is a new holiday favorite that we are adding to our "have to watch that every December!" list. It gets an A. Merry Christmas all!

Traditions are everything for me at Christmas time. As far back as my memory reaches, my parents always made the holidays a very special time. The decorations, picking out the live tree, TV Christmas specials all became parts of December that I treasured. As a film fanatic, there are non-holiday films that will always be vivid Christmas memories, just because they opened in the theaters in December. I remember seeing "The Towering Inferno" with my Dad on a huge screen opening night. James Bond's "Diamonds Are Forever" and "The Man with the Golden Gun" both premiered in the early seventies in massive theaters decked out with yuletide cheer. Christmas themed films are annual treats for many of us. The holiday doesn't really start for me until we I some of the top ranked films on this list. Here are my Top 10 Christmas movies, and stay tuned at the end for 5 lumps of coal to avoid at all costs. 10. Die Hard It may have been 25+ years since Bruce Willis hit the big screen as John McLane in the original DIE HARD, but this action classic STILL rocks. Willis is NYC detective McLane, arriving on Christmas Eve to visit his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) at her new high profile job at Nakatomi Tower. Separated, they barely have time to meet, get close and fight in her office before a group of terrorists take over the building. WIllis manages to escape and become a one man army against the bad guys. It's so well executed on every level, DIE HARD made Willis a movie star and it still holds up great today. Alan Rickman is the greatest Euro villain ever and his Hans Gruber has been often copied, but never equaled. Reginald VelJohnson is really good as Sgt. Powell, the only cop with any common sense on the scene, battling with FBI agents Johnson & Johnson and a whole lot of twinkies. Having spent some time in the 20th Century Fox towers, filling in here as Nakatomi, its amazing how much of the building they appear to explode, shoot up and destroy. The special effects team led by Richard Edlund (Star Wars, Raiders) works overtime to great effect, as does Michael Kamen's best movie score. One of the best action films of the 80's, DIE HARD still packs the same explosive punch that it did back in 1988. It sits nicely in my top 100 of all time, with an annual Christmas season revisit...and YES, it's a Christmas Movie! Yipee-Kay-Aye! it gets an A. 9. Love Actually One of the best modern Christmas films, LOVE ACTUALLY bears viewing every year, delivering plenty of seasonal laughs, tears and smiles. A massive cast portrays plenty of likable characters, including eight unique couples that eventually cross paths after a very eventful holiday season. Hugh Grant is The Prime Minister, newly elected, single and attracted to his daffy new secretary Natalie (charming Marlene McCutcheon) who melts into profanity every time he's around. Karen (Emma Thompson) is married to successful businessman Harry (Alan Rickman) whose power entices his assistant Mia far beyond flirtation. Sarah (Laura Linney) has worked for Harry for years and is madly in love with co-worker Carl (Rodrigo Santoro). Everyone in the office knows it, but the two of them continue to dance all around their romance. Meanwhile, Liam Neeson is Daniel, newly widowed, heartbroken and coaching his 11 year old stepson through his first love. Colin Firth is a writer nursing a broken heart that falls for his housekeeper, even though neither of them can understand a word the other is saying. Bill Nighy is hilarious as aging rockstar Billy Mack, whose self proclaimed money grab of a new Christmas song serves as a constant thread through the film. Sprinkle in Keira Knightley, Andrew Lincoln (long before "The Walking Dead"!) and Rowan Atkinson, surround them with a sincere, funny and sweet screenplay by Richard Curtis, let him take the directing chair as he did with "Notting Hill" and "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and enjoy. It's incredible that he juggles this many stories and folks and draws you into nearly every tale. Only one story thread, involving Martin Freeman as a stand-in working in the adult film industry, falls flat, feeling forced in from another, much less classy film. But its a minor misstep in an otherwise flawless film. Hugh Grant's never been more charming. His scenes sparring with American President Billy Bob Thornton are excellent. This is a fun film no matter how many times you've seen it. It will tug your heart while making you laugh out loud. After enjoying these folks for a couple hours, you really will believe that love IS all around you and that there's NO better time than Christmas to share those feelings. This romantic comedy is a modern classic and gets an A. 8. Miracle on 34th Street (1994) 1994's Miracle on 34th Street is a welcome addition to any holiday season. A remake of the classic holiday film, this 90's version stars Richard Attenborough as Kriss Kringle, a NYC department store Santa who may be more than he seems, Elizabeth Perkins as an executive at that dept store who has carved out a life with her daughter filled with riches but missing any true happiness and a young Dylan McDermott as her neighbor, a lawyer who loves her from a distance. The star of the film is little Mara Wilson as the daughter, Susan, the role that first made a young Natalie Wood famous in the original film. Wilson is a doll, with great delivery and a sweet performance. It's a story you know, but its delivered with some fresh (for the 90's) spins and with good holiday flavor. Attenborough IS the perfect Santa, Bruce Boughton's music score is excellent and its got a great warm happy ending for the whole family without boring the adults! Look for Allison Janney, Mary McCormack and Horatio Sanz in small, early roles in their careers. A sweet, heartfelt holiday film, we'll fill it's stocking with a solid A. This one is a must watch every holiday season. 7. Bad Santa Back in 2003 when BAD SANTA first hit theatres, Tamara and I went to a late night show and about fell out of our chairs laughing. As someone who loves everything about Christmas, it was the perfect nasty, offensive, dirty holiday joke ever played on yuletide audiences expecting a holiday movie. Thankfully it holds up just as nastily as mandatory yearly late night viewing at home. Billy Bob Thornton is Willie, a profane, alcoholic safe cracker who poses each year as St Nick to gain access to department store safes stuffed with holiday cash. His partner in crime is the diminutive Marcus, who plays Elf to Willie's Santa and manages to slide through plenty of air ducts to get to security panels and alarm systems. Tony Cox plays Marcus with quick wit, fast fists and a never ending bag of one liners. As Christmas nears, our guys run into several hilarious obstacles. First is a VERY funny John Ritter as a department store manager very sensitive to profanity and suspicious of our duo. Ritter delivers a terrific performance, squirming as he repeats some of Willie's behaviors to his security chief Gin, played to perfection by Bernie Mac. Lauren Graham has a ton of fun (and backseat and Jacuzzi yuletide passion with Willie) as a bartender with a thing for Santa and young Brett Kelly is fearless as The Kid, a pudgy, snot-dripping, curly headed shy victim of bullies who finds a special bond with Willie, who soon finds himself living with The Kid and his half-there grandmother (Cloris Leachman) in their sprawling suburban Phoenix home. If that sounds like the film treads into "feel good" territory, fear not. Director Terry Zwigoff (Ghost World, Crumb) and writers Glenn Ficarra and John Requa (Crazy Stupid Love, Focus) have crafted a story that's decidedly more filled with attempted suicide, murder, fist fights and loud sex than sugar plums and brightly wrapped gifts. Bad Santa is a dark, decadent gift of jet black comedy with Thornton's all-in, nasty performance at its center. As usual, Thornton is brilliant. Does any American actor do sarcasm better than Billy Bob? I can't think of one. If you're looking for a family holiday treat, leave this one buried under the tree. If you need a nasty, twisted, dark and dirty holiday present, pull BAD SANTA out of Willie's dirty, puke-stained Santa bag. It gets an A every year! Followed in 2016 by Bad Santa 2. 6. Home Alone 2 Always a ton of fun around the holidays, this big box office success from 1992 and terrific sequel to the original, HOME ALONE 2 delivers laughs and Christmas fun for the whole family. Writer John Hughes and Director Chris Columbus manage to set up another funny scenario in which Kevin (Macauley Culkin) ends up on a flight to New York while his entire family ends up on a flight to Florida. Once in Manhattan, Kevin manages to book a room at The Plaza, meet Trump and garner the attention of the hapless Wet Bandits Harry & Marv (Joe Pesci & Daniel Stern) who have recently escaped from jail and headed to the Big Apple for a big score. Macauley is hilarious and adept at all the physical comedy and manages once again to create a massive mouse trap of violent comedic traps for our bumbling bad guys. Brenda Fricker manages to have some nice holiday themed moments as a homeless woman in Central Park and Tim Curry damn near steals the whole movie in a hilarious role as the Concierge at The Plaza. Curry makes every facial expression and bit of physical comedy work as he takes every measure to get Kevin tossed out of The Plaza, to no more avail than our bandits. Ron Schneider has some funny moments as a Bellman and Catherine O'Hara reliably delivers as Kevin's absent minded Mom. Family fun (as long as the little ones dont decide to throw bricks at people's heads like Kevin does, belting Marv a dozen hilarious times), HOME ALONE 2 delivers plenty of HO HO HO and gets a holiday cheer drenched A! 5. The Polar Express It's a family tradition around our house to see a movie on the night before Thanksgiving to kickoff the holiday season. One of our all-time favorites was an IMAX 3D screening of Robert Zemeckis' 2004 holiday hit THE POLAR EXPRESS. Zemeckis, who has always been on the cutting edge of technology to create new experiences on film (Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) launched new ground in motion capture with Express. Actors wear motion capture suits to capture their performance and then they can digitally be created as any person or creature on film. Its beautifully suited for this expanded film version of the classic holiday children's book by Chris Van Allsburg. A young boy is realizing on Christmas Eve that he is starting to have doubts about holiday traditions and for him, believing is in its final moments. He finds himself whisked away by a massive train that pulls up on his street, invited aboard by an energetic conductor and meeting many young friends aboard. They travel to the North Pole to meet Santa on Christmas Eve, experiencing plenty of amazing digital action scenes and beautiful scenery and adventures along the way. The camera angles of these sequences could only be captured through digital magic and Zemeckis makes the most of it. Tom Hanks plays the boy, the conductor, a hobo, the boys father and Santa Claus and gives each role a different spin, often disappearing behind his new computer facade. What the film captures is the magic of believing, the treasured warmth of family traditions, the moments that make the holiday season so treasured to many. A great music score by Alan Silvestri and songs by Glen Ballard are sprinkled throughout. Watch for an elf version of Steven Tyler near the end. Perfect for repeated family viewing, its become a holiday favorite for kids of ALL ages in our house, including this overgrown kid. It's a special film with it's heart in the right place and for those of us that treasure Christmas family traditions, it hits a very special note perfectly. I can still hear the bells. The Polar Express is a ride worth taking every year and gets an A. 4. Elf A dozen years after its release, 2003's ELF has deservedly become a perennial Christmas classic. Will Ferrell has arguably his best film role as Buddy the elf, a human orphan that manages to climb into Santa's bag one night while Santa (Ed Asner, perfectly cast) is busy checking out the cookies. Buddy grows up at the North Pole with the elves, but like Steve Martin's Nathan in "The Jerk" doesn't realize he's any different from the rest of the family. In a sequence that pays clever and funny tribute to the Rankin/Bass TV Christmas specials of the sixties, Buddy sets off on an ice flow to get to Manhattan and reconnect with his human father. On the Naughty list, Buddy's dad, Walter (James Caan) has no idea that he has a son. A ruthless publisher with no time for anything but work, Walter soon finds himself with a six foot plus man dressed in full elf regalia calling him Dad. Ferrell can be an acquired taste on film, but here, his all-out commitment to being an elf fits the character perfectly and you can't help but cheer for the overgrown elf-man. Director Jon Favreau (Ironman) gets a lot of things right, especially by supporting Ferrell with a terrific cast, including Bob Newhart as his adopted elf Dad, Mary Steenburgen as Walter's wife, Zooey Deschanel (perfect) as Buddy's co-worker/love interest and Peter Dinklage as a pretentious childrens book author. So many classic scenes. "You're Not Santa!", eating cotton balls in the dr's office, Buddy's stint in the mailroom and of course the heart warming holiday finale in Central Park. Fun, funny and perfect for yearly viewing, ELF has a heart as big as Buddy's and gets an A. 3. It's A Wonderful Life Christmas movies don't arrive any more beloved or moving than Frank Capra's 1946 classic, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Almost 80 years after its release, none of the holiday magic has faded, thanks to Jimmy Stewart and an amazing cast. Stewart stars as local boy George Bailey, who can't wait to get out of tiny Bedford Falls and see the world. We watch his early years unfold via some sparkling stars in the cosmos, who share Bailey's life story with Clarence (Henry Travers) an angel hoping to earn his wings by coming down to Earth and helping George on one dark & fateful night. What surprised me on my first viewing of the film years ago, was just how dark some of its moments are. Suicide is pondered and lives seem torn apart. Frank Capra's genius with films like "It Happened One Night"(1934), "Lost Horizon" (1937) and "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" (1939) was an uncanny ability to mix comedy, drama and unabashed patriotism, without shying away from life's life & death moments. This was Capra's first post-WWII film and he's clearly committed to showing the goodness in all of us after the human terrors of the war. But you can't show good without showing the bad and boy, does Mr. Potter, the owner of the town bank exemplify that category. Mean-spirited, ruthless and uncaring, Potter is out to destroy the smaller Savings and Loan that George'e father built from scratch. George shares his father's traits as a generous man more concerned with his customers than himself, which isn't a great business plan, but certainly serves to set up a terrific payoff. Lionel Barrymore is despicable as Mr. Potter. He was the Grinch before Dr. Seuss invented him, sneering and laughing at everyone he takes advantage of in the town. Bedford Falls is loaded with great characters and superb actors playing them. Donna Reed is fantastic as Mary, the girl George courts and eventually marries. The early scenes of them just out of high school are hilarious. Stewart is the perfect every-man and Reed matches his charm. Sara Edwards is hilarious as Mrs. Hatch, Mary's Mom who wants her to marry anyone  but George. Thomas Mitchell is fine as Uncle Harry, providing plenty of laughs along with some strong dramatic moments that set up the finale. The film was not a hit when it was released but it eventually gained a huge following. It was aired many times by public broadcasting channels during the Christmas season in the 70's, where it became an annual tradition for many families in America. The story is timeless and Stewart is fantastic, morphing from a gee-whiz student getting ready for college, to a businessman trying to save his town. He's the perfect actor for Capra's inspirational speeches, firing up his customers like the pre-battle Mel Gibson in "Braveheart". But it's in the film's dramatic moments that Stewart really shines. His desperation holding his son tight to him as his world spins out of control grabs you by the throat. No matter how many Christmas seasons that I revisit it, the last 15 minutes still inspire and move me as George's generosity of spirit comes back to him ten-fold. There are riches beyond the obvious to unwrap here upon repeat viewings. The script is witty and smart, with screenwriters Dalton Trumbo (Roman Holiday, Spartacus), Clifford Odets (Sweet Smell of Success) and the legendary Dorothy Parker all offering uncredited contributions to the screenplay. While it was made in the 40's, it's takes on love, sex and society are sharply observed in a mode that's less graphic but no less telling. Stewart and Reed are flat out hilarious in the screwball comedy sections sprinkled between the drama. We unwrap IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE every year. It's a gift that keeps on giving as it approaches 100 years old. Listen for the bells, this Christmas classic just got its wings and an A+. 2. White Christmas It's hard to believe I made it to 2013 without ever seeing the holiday classic WHITE CHRISTMAS, but it's pretty safe to say that this old fashioned, corny but fun Christmas flick will now be a yearly staple. The film opens with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye putting on a Christmas stage show in the middle of World War II near the battle front. General Waverly (Dean Jagger, much softer than I've ever seen him before) is about the leave the troop and his squadron gives him a stirring salute via song. These just aren't any songs, they're by the great Irving Berlin and are all highlights throughout the movie. After the war, Crosby and Kaye become a hugely successful singing duo, taking Broadway and the country by storm. Danny Kaye is hilarious and limber in some great dance routines. His constant matchmaking for his partner Crosby ends up with them meeting and chasing a female singing duo, played by Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen. All four find themselves at a Vermont ski lodge owned by their former General that has fallen on hard times due to no snow and sparse visitors. The rest of the film is predictable but sweet and so well executed by our four stars that the cliches are overwhelmed by the song and dance numbers and holiday goodwill. This was Paramount's first film in ultra widescreen VistaVision back in 1954. It was directed by Michael Curtiz, who also helmed Casablanca and The Adventures of Robin Hood with Errol Flynn, a strong trio of film classics! The songs are great, the technicolor widescreen photography is excellent and our stars are all in great form. This is the youngest I have ever seen Bing Crosby. He has great stage presence and is a much better dancer than I ever would have imagined, having only seen him much older in his Christmas specials when I was a kid. Filmed nearly 60 years ago (what's with those women's hairstyles!?) White Christmas is a holiday treat we will be enjoying as a yearly tradition from now on and we'll give it a big bright, snow covered A. 1. Christmas Vacation A yearly holiday tradition, Christmas Vacation never fails to crack us up. Betting you all have your favorite moments too, ours are Chevy in the attic, the family dinners and Cousin Eddie. If you cant quote at least a half dozen lines from this holiday classic, don't talk to me in December! The height of Chevy Chase's career and sizzling with a cast of old pros and quick upstarts, laughs abound. Eddie : You surprised? Clark : Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now. Aunt Bethany : [Hearing a squeak] What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound. Uncle Lewis : You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant. Ellen : What are you looking at? Clark : Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...  [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] Eddie : Shitter was full. Clark : Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey? Clark : Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. Aunt Bethany : [turns to Lewis] What, dear? Nora Griswold : Grace! Aunt Bethany : Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. Uncle Lewis : They want you to say Grace.  [Bethany shakes her head in confusion] Uncle Lewis : The BLESSING! Clark : Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Frances : [looking at Ruby Sue surprised] Oh my gosh, her eyes aren't crossed anymore. Eddie : That somethin' ain't it? She falls down a well, her eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back to normal. I don't know. We just watched it last week, can't wait to watch it again. Merry Christmas, she's a beaut Clark, and she gets an A. And now, the holiday garbage that no one wants Santa to deliver down the chimney in no particular order. Lets' start with a controversial choice for some but a clear lump of coal for me: A Christmas Story As much as I love all things Christmas, someone needs to tell me what I am missing when it comes to 1983's A CHRISTMAS STORY. Based in the 1940's in Cleveland (poor Cleveland, first the Browns and now this) the tale is an old fashioned yarn about Ralphie (Peter Billingsley, the best thing in the movie) and his desire for a Red Ryder BB gun. His Dad (Darren McGavin, making his Kolchak portrayal seem subtle) and his Mom (Melinda Dillon, whiny and annoying) are not behind the idea. His Dad is too busy battling the furnace repeatedly and loving his new leg lamp to notice much and his Mom just thinks he'll put his eye out. Ralphie and his friends battle bullies at school and he constantly day dreams of saving the day with his fully loaded Red Ryder. I am missing something. I didn't laugh, it didn't make me feel especially holiday-ish and I found the repeated sped-up Benny Hill antics boring. The whole thing just plays like a bad Garrison Keillor radio play brought to life. If I had a dollar for every time I looked at my watch, I'd have more than enough to recover my rental fee. I know a lot of people love it, but man it just doesn't click with my sense of humor. Maybe I just have a problem with Director Bob Clark. His other huge film hit was "Porky's" in 1981 and I hated that movie, walking out after about a half hour when it was in theaters, something I've only done maybe five times in my life. SO I guess I'll just leave this one wrapped up and ready for all the fans out there to soak up every year. I'll stick with Christmas Vacation, Love Actually and Elf as modern holiday classics. For me, this is dumb, annoyingly boring and gets a bah humbug, coal in its stocking and a D. Bad Santa 2 Maybe there should be a maximum time that you're able to wait between sequels, or maybe there should be an unwritten rule that the original writer or director should come back... Any of those factors might have helped the sequel BAD SANTA 2, which lazily limps to the finish line as a poor imitation of the original. The good news is that Billy Bob Thornton is back 13 years later as Willie Soke. He's game to make Willy even more pathetic and desperate than in the original film. When your opening scenes focus on failed suicide attempts, you're not leaving yourself much room to sink lower. Our fat little boy Thurman Merman is back, still played by Brett Kelly, but showing little gains in brain power since his childhood. Kathy Bates is pretty damn funny as Willie's mom, whose rounded Willie and his elf sidekick Marcus (Tony Cox) up for a major Christmas robbery of a huge charity whose owners match Willie and team for depravity. Some scenes are very funny, but its so lazy that it tries to create scenes from the original again with new characters, and they don't measure up. It should be against the law to waste Octavia Spencer (The Help, Hidden Figures) in a small role this underwritten and unfunny. Billy Bob is so good, there are moments where you actually feel emotion for his character, which is hard to imagine. Unfortunately the more Willie tries to find a better path, the less the film resembles the dark and twisted first film. Crude, mean and nasty just like the original, the humor's not for everyone. For me, its just disappointing. Audiences must have agreed, as it sunk quickly at the theaters. Suffice to say when Christmas rolls around every year and we need a break from the family holiday flicks, we will always find time for the original. BAD SANTA 2? It's one and done for me and I'll give it a D. Father Figures Let me give you an early Christmas present by helping you avoid the giant celluloid lump of coal FATHER FIGURES. Wasting an immense amount of talent and gaining a top spot on Santa's naughty list by giving away 90% of the laughs in the trailers, this stinker will come and go quickly in theatres. Uptight brother and proctologist (oh gee that's funny already) Peter is played by Ed Helms, who is a very funny actor but asked to play straight man for most of the movie. His loose, surfer brother Kyle (Owen Wilson, clearly coasting here) is visiting for their Mom's wedding to her new beau (Harry Shearer, a great comedian given nothing to do). Their Mom (Glenn Close, doing what she can with a mediocre part) divulges that she's not sure who their Dad was, sending the boys on a road trip to find him. Is it football legend Terry Bradshaw? Bradshaw has a lot of fun and is really good here, playing a dumbed down version of himself. Is it a wealthy financial guy, played by JK Simmons? Is it Christopher Walken, a local veterinarian? More importantly, is this a comedy? Is this a family drama or maybe a dramedy? The filmmakers have no idea. There were moments played for drama that made me snicker they were so poorly executed and there were long comic scenes that sat lifeless with zero laughs. The only redeeming features of the film are Ving Rhames as a former football player and Katt Williams, who appears near the end of the film as a hitchhiker. He nails every line and steals the movie immediately. More of a giant steaming reindeer turd that a holiday gift, FATHER FIGURES gets a D. Jingle All the Way I managed to get through two decades of Christmas seasons without watching Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1996 holiday film JINGLE ALL THE WAY. So why in the world did I watch it now? iTunes had a holiday movies button, I clicked on it and the rest is history. I should have worked harder to keep my non-viewing streak going on this one. I’m a sucker for Christmas movies of almost any kind, from favorites like “The Polar Express” to “Christmas Vacation” and “Elf” to lesser but enjoyable holiday movies like “Four Christmases”, there are those perennials that we come back to every season. This one wont be on that repeat viewing list. Arnold made plenty of great movies in this era, action was his strong suit but he often showed great comic timing in films like “True Lies”. Suffice to say when it comes to full tilt comedy, Schwarzenegger was less gifted. It’s all giant expressions and over reactions in his portrayal of Howard, a workaholic Dad who’s late for every school play or judo tournament. After letting down his son Jamie (Jake Lloyd, showing the same child thespian talents (?) he unraveled as a young Darth Vader in Lucas’s early Star Wars trilogy) yet again, he promises to make it up by getting the hottest toy on the planet on Christmas Eve. Gee, do you think it’s sold out? Do you think maybe they’ll be montages of crazy shoppers battling each other in the aisles in search of the Turbo Man action figure? Right now, think of every cliché that might happen in Arnie’s quest and I promise you they all happen here. Sinbad is one-note, borderline disturbing and not great as a mailman on the same quest for his son. Phil Hartman brings the film’s only laughs as Howard’s next door neighbor hoping to move in on Howard’s wife, played by Rita Wilson. None of these characters act like any humans you ever met. Throughout the film, Howard manages to light houses on fire, be part of a bombing at a radio station and commits at least a half dozen felonies, but we just move on to the next scene. You see the heartwarming ending coming a mile away, except for Sinbad’s absurd antics. Harvey Korman and Larraine Newman are completely wasted in small roles. Robert Conrad has some fun as a cop who keeps popping up but never quite gets Howard. Poor Arnold. He just looks uncomfortable, straining for every laugh. This might be the longest 90-minute film I’ve ever seen. WOOF, what a dog. We’ll file it away with “Fred Claus” as a once-is-more-than-enough Christmas movie. We’ll give it a lump of coal and a D. Last and least, we have.... A Merry Friggin' Christmas It's been a long time since I've seen a Christmas movie as bad as A MERRY FRIGGIN' CHRISTMAS. What a colossal waste of talent! Joel McHale stars as Boyd Mitchler, a Clark Griswold knock off who treasures family traditions and is determined to give his family the perfect holidays that his father Mitch (Robin Williams) never gave him as a child. Joel and his wife Luann (Lauren Graham) are invited to his his parents house, where all sorts of holiday hijinks ensue involving his mother (Candice Bergen), brother (Clark Duke) and sister (Wendi Mclendon-Covey). Now normally all those stars above are very funny people. VERY funny! But even their comedy timing can't save this horrible screenplay and unfunny shtick. When Boyd and Luann realize they have left their son's presents at home, Boyd, his brother and his Dad load up the truck and attempt to drive all the way to Chicago and back Christmas eve before the kids wake up. This is truly an awful movie. At one point, our road trio thinks they have hit and killed a hobo in the road and they start having a conversation about how to chop up the body to hide it. You will just shake your head. It wants to be "Bad Santa" and "Christmas Vacation" and "Home Alone" but just ends up being crap. It's only 79 minutes long (plus 9 MINUTES of credits to stretch to 88!) and it feels hours longer. There are no laughs, just painful embarrassment as our cast realizes they have signed on for a real holiday dog. Williams looks especially aware of how bad this really is and the three power female comedians are given very little to do, what a waste. It's only appropriate to review this Christmas turkey on Thanksgiving weekend and it give a giant lump of coal and an F. Pick any one of the top ten, grab your eggnog, light the fireplace and settle in everyone! Merry Christmas from George at the Movies!

James Cameron just delivered a jaw dropping Christmas gift with AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH , an IMAX 3D thrill ride that is,for me, the BEST of the series. The ever grumpy naysayers are murmuring, "It's too long", "its repetitive" "it's boring". NOPE, NOPE and HELL NO. For the entire middle of the film, it feels more like Mel Gibson's killer adventure "Apocalypto" than Avatar, and the final hour..... buckle up. For me, it's Cameron's best film since "Aliens", with strong echoes of that film and "The Abyss" that will make any Cameron fan smile throughout. As a matter of fact, I think by the end of this one, I felt like I need to go back and watch "The Abyss" again, as there is a pleasing duality with this stunner. Cameron starts this third film off with just a taste of what's to come, soaring through the skies of Pandora. What sets this epic chapter apart is the sense of family that covers every spectacular frame. Behind the action scenes, which are of an impossible scale and some of Cameron's all-time best, there are deeply felt themes of loss and grief. Jake (Sam Worthington) and Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and their children are all reeling with grief after Neteyam's death. While Jake entrenches himself in preparing for war with the sure-to-return forces led by Colonel Quaritch (the perfectly evil Stephen Lang, getting better with each chapter), Neytiri retreats into hate over the loss of her son. When the decision is made, due to both emotions and survival, to return Spider (Jack Champion) back to his kind (as harsh as it sounds for all the right reasons), the family joins a band of floating traders, led by Peylak (David Thewlis, a welcome addition). This begins a massive journey that kicks this edition off in style, introducing new creatures, and fascinating airborne ships. It's not long before they face off against a terrifying new Na'vi tribe, the Ash People, who are led by the beautiful & lethal Varang. Oona Chaplin, grandaughter of Charlie, is a powerhouse villain for the franchise. When she meets Quaritch, the combination of their hate for Jake torches the saga to new heights. Think about some of the greatest action films of our lifetime. The classic face offs in "Terminator 2", the bridge chase sequence with Jamie Lee and Arnold in "True Lies", ANY part of "Aliens". Cameron's been behind them all. He's been building his available technology toward this moment. With FIRE AND ASH , he's able to commit to screen some of the largest scale action sequences in history and they are STUNNING. You have to see this film in IMAX 3D. The visuals are thrilling. Every fantasy/sci-fi film buff of a certain age remembers the first time they saw the huge space battles in "Return of the Jedi" with warring ships flying by in every direction, echoing WW2 dogfights. Well here we are decades later in years and generations later in special effects. There are long sequences here that take those memories you have and blow them up into something bigger,better and breathess. The motion capture technology that Cameron and his team have perfected is so nuanced that you never feel cheated out of any actor's performance. The visuals also are now so strong that every moment is shown with brilliant clarity on the IMAX screen. There are no muddled, dark corners here. This is modern moviemaking at its zenith. The returning cast is terrific, including Edie Falco as General Ardmore, who's having a hell of a time corraling Quaritch this time out. Falco is a rock, as is Jemaine Clement as a scientist who's unwilling to sacrifice the indigenous Nav'vi for a profit. Britain Dalton is excellent as Lo'ak, throwing an entire subplot about a wise whale counsel on his back and running with it. It's a coming of age story mashed up with the best moments of "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" that could have been silly, but lands powerfully during that massive finale. Cameron's been building for two films toward his EPIC conclusion here and it's thrilling. And exhausting, in all the right ways. As Cameron pops back and forth between several suspenseful showdowns, he cleverly weaves them together into a powerhouse visual feast that left my sold out IMAX 3D house cheering and applauding when the final credits rolled. Cameron has said that he's created the second and third films, "Way of Water" and "Fire and Ash" as films that could conclude a trilogy perfectly, if the box office fell off. Based on the crowd I saw it with, the opening day box office on a run that will roll for weeks over the Christmas and New Years holidays, I'm ready for the fourth and fifth films that Cameron, now 71, has promised if audiences want it. Count me in, James. I never count him out, but I didn't expect him to deliver the best of the series and one of my favorite films of the year underneath my Christmas tree. AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH gets a wide-eyed, jaw-dropped, appreciative A+. Find an IMAX 3D showing near you and get ready for the ride of the year.

How in the Dickens have I never seen this classic 1970 Christmas musical? Old fashioned, fun for the whole family (beware some scary scenes) and superbly acted by the always great Albert Finney, SCROOGE is a classic, big budget holiday film. Filmed on the same sets as "Oliver!" had been two years before, the film is an original vision from Leslie Bricusse that remains faithful to the story and dialogue of the Charles Dickens classic. Bricusse had previously written 1968's "Doctor Dolittle" and would go on to write the music for "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" the following year. With "Scrooge", he wrote the screenplay and the music and lyrics, seamlessly blending the two as some terrific actors bring the tale of Ebenezer Scrooge to life. Finney was only 33 years old at the time of filming, subjecting himself to three hours in the makeup chair every morning to play Scrooge. It pays off. Finney IS Scrooge. He's miserable, selfish and cruel in such realistic fashion that the key moments in the story we've heard & seen so many times in countless iterations, somehow feel more real, more emotionally connected. His treatment of Bob Cratchit (David Hollings) is despicable. The brilliant Alec Guinness (Bridge on the River Kwai, Star Wars) is his long dead business partner Jacob Marley. With his rattling chains and corpse like pallor, Guinness scares the hell out of Scooge. The Ghost of Christmas Past (Edith Evans who had appeared with Finney in "Tom Jones" in 1963) takes Ebenezer on a tour of his younger life. For the first time, these scenes played with real emotions, as we see 33 year old Finney falling in love and then being seduced by money & ambition. Kenneth More (A Night to Remember) is the bombastic Ghost of Christmas Present and his drunken adventures with Scrooge are funny, then dramatic as Finney's Scrooge starts to show signs of a heart. The final act with The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is a lot scarier in its 1970 vision than anything we'd conjure up today. By the time Ebenezer is getting his chains in a bright, hot red hell loaded with rats, I was amazed at what a G rated film in 1970 could get away with! There are some great songs along the way, including " A Christmas Carol", "Christmas Children", Scrooge's anthem "I Hate People" "December the 25th", "I Like Life" and the most well known song from the score, "Thank You Very Much". I couldn't help but think about Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds dancing through Victorian England singing "Good Afternoon" in Apple TV's "Spirited" as a massive crowd of dancers belted out "Thank You Very Much" in the town square. They clearly got a lot of inspiration from Finney and Company. Laurence Naismith (Camelot, Diamonds Are Forever) is another standout as Mr. Fezziwig, Scrooge's boss when he was young. He fleshes out the character in a way that's never struck me in any other interpretation of the story. By the time Scrooge is waking up and buying the biggest turkey in the butcher's window on Christmas morning, you're so invested that his redemption is powerful, not just a rote, expected ending of a holiday fairy tale. Finney is terrific, adopting a scrunched up and grumpy old face along with an old man verbal delivery that very few could get away with for two hours. It makes the flashbacks to Scrooge in the past jarring in all the right ways. Bricusse score is the type of audience pleasing fare that critics often deride. His Broadway musical "Jekyll & Hyde" was hated by every NYC critic but played for years and featured some of our favorite show ballads ever. He's going for songs that the whole family can enjoy and interpret and lands most of them perfectly well. Hearing Finney "sing" them reminded me of Lee Marvin grumbling out tunes in the film adaption of "Paint Your Wagon" in 1969. It was clearly the era of hiring non-singers to sing in musicals. Unlike Marvin, Finney approaches them with such energy and in the end, joy, that he rises above any bad notes. Having 100 professional singers and dancers spinning around him doesn't hurt, of course. Scrooge is a holiday classic and one I'll be adding to my must watch list every Christmas. For the first time ever watching this story unfold, Scrooge's Christmas morning transformation carried real emotion, a tribute to Dickens 150 year old story, Bricusse's music and Finney's acting chops. In the words of our ghosts: " There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember, Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not there anymore...." Indeed. Merry Christmas, SCROOGE ! You get an A.

My favorite new Christmas movie in years, SPIRITED is a hilarious, moving musical with two comedic superstars at their holiday best. You want laugh-out-loud, self aware comedy? How about perfectly choreographed, big musical numbers that deliver heart and laughs? A talented cast delivers all that and more in this new holiday classic that we've just watched again for the fourth time in two years. A self admitted, thinly veiled new take on Dickens "A Christmas Carol", Will Ferrell is the Ghost of Christmas Present. He's just wrapping up another conversion to the nice list with his boss Marley (Patrick Page), Christmas Past (the hilarious Sunita Mani) and the towering figure of Yet-To-Come (Tracy Morgan). After the first great song "That Christmas Morning Feelin'" by Benji Pasek & Justin Paul (La La Land, Dear Evan Hansen, The Greatest Showman), Present and team are off to find their next bad person target to rehabilitate. They meet their nonredeemable match in Clint Briggs (Ryan Reynolds). A heartless consultant who will destroy anything or anyone for a buck & a win, Briggs is despicable. Of course, in the hands of Reynolds, in full Deadpool funny mode, Briggs is loaded with witty comebacks and smarmy intentions. Reynolds brings out the best in Ferrell, they're a fantastic duo. Reynolds has admitted that he can't dance, but you'd never know it here. Thanks to a lot of prep by him and excellent editing and choreography, he arrives in style, belting and hoofing his way through "Bringing Back Christmas". Octavia Spencer (Hidden Figures, The Shape of Water) is terrific as Clint's executive assistant Kimberly. I had no idea that she could sing, but her "The View From Here" is touching and perfectly delivered, the first sign that the film can deftly weave in some serious moments as well. Our favorite moments are two big numbers. "Good Afternoon" is a Victorian era England set "Good Afternoon", with Clint and Present spreading the most profane greeting you can offer back in the day, a simple "Good Afternoon..." It's perfectly staged, starting as a Ferrell/Reynolds duo that expands into a full blown number that pours through the alleys of London. There's also the funniest work ever from a huge English star that's completely acknowledged "Deadpool" style. The other is Ferrell's eleven o'clock ballad "Unredeemable" that finds him singing on a blank set. Behind him, dancers in dark outfits and a flashlight in both hands provide some of the coolest lighting and choreography of the night. Ferrell delivers a powerful moment. But don't worry, it's quickly back to big laughs. Ferrell's encounter at a Christmas party with someone dressed as Buddy the Elf is flawless. With a $200 million budget from Apple TV, the film looks great in 4K and sounds terrific in Dolby Atmos. An annual favorite for the Christmas Season, SPIRITED will definitely have a new spot in my Top 10 Christmas films next year. Need laughs, some heart and some old fashioned musical numbers with a fun modern twist? SPIRITED loads all the stockings with energy, gets better with every viewing and delivers enjoyable A+ Christmas fun. If you don't like this movie..... Good Afternoon!

A dozen years after its release, 2003's ELF has deservedly become a perennial Christmas classic. Will Ferrell has arguably his best film role as Buddy the elf, a human orphan that manages to climb into Santa's bag one night while Santa (Ed Asner, perfectly cast) is busy checking out the cookies. Buddy grows up at the North Pole with the elves, but like Steve Martin's Nathan in "The Jerk" doesn't realize he's any different from the rest of the family. In a sequence that pays clever and funny tribute to the Rankin/Bass TV Christmas specials of the sixties, Buddy sets off on an ice flow to get to Manhattan and reconnect with his human father. On the Naughty list, Buddy's dad, Walter (James Caan) has no idea that he has a son. A ruthless publisher with no time for anything but work, Walter soon finds himself with a six foot plus man dressed in full elf regalia calling him Dad. Ferrell can be an acquired taste on film, but here, his all-out commitment to being an elf fits the character perfectly and you can't help but cheer for the overgrown elf-man. Director Jon Favreau (Ironman) gets a lot of things right, especially by supporting Ferrell with a terrific cast, including Bob Newhart as his adopted elf Dad, Mary Steenburgen as Walter's wife, Zooey Deschanel (perfect) as Buddy's co-worker/love interest and Peter Dinklage as a pretentious childrens book author. So many classic scenes. "You're Not Santa!", eating cotton balls in the dr's office, Buddy's stint in the mailroom and of course the heart warming holiday finale in Central Park. Fun, funny and perfect for yearly viewing, ELF has a heart as big as Buddy's and gets an A.

A yearly holiday tradition, Christmas Vacation never fails to crack us up. Betting you all have your favorite moments too, ours are Chevy in the attic, the family dinners and Cousin Eddie. If you cant quote at least a half dozen lines from this holiday classic, don't talk to me in December! The height of Chevy Chase's career and sizzling with a cast of old pros and quick upstarts, laughs abound. Eddie : You surprised? Clark : Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now. Aunt Bethany : [Hearing a squeak] What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound. Uncle Lewis : You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant. Ellen : What are you looking at? Clark : Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] Eddie : Shitter was full. Clark : Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey? Clark : Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. Aunt Bethany : [turns to Lewis] What, dear? Nora Griswold : Grace! Aunt Bethany : Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. Uncle Lewis : They want you to say Grace. [Bethany shakes her head in confusion] Uncle Lewis : The BLESSING! Clark : Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Frances : [looking at Ruby Sue surprised] Oh my gosh, her eyes aren't crossed anymore. Eddie : That somethin' ain't it? She falls down a well, her eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back to normal. I don't know. We just watched it last week, can't wait to watch it again. Merry Christmas, she's a beaut Clark, and she gets an A.

One of the best modern Christmas films, LOVE ACTUALLY bears viewing every year, delivering plenty of seasonal laughs, heart and smiles. A massive cast portrays plenty of likable characters, including eight unique couples that eventually cross paths after a very eventful holiday season. Hugh Grant is The Prime Minister, newly elected, single and attracted to his daffy new secretary Natalie (charming Marlene McCutcheon) who melts into profanity every time he's around. Karen (Emma Thompson) is married to successful businessman Harry (Alan Rickman) whose power entices his assistant Mia far beyond flirtation. Sarah (Laura Linney) has worked for Harry for years and is madly in love with her co-worker Carl (Rodrigo Santoro). Everyone in the office knows it, but the two of them continue to dance all around their romance. Meanwhile, Liam Neeson is Daniel, newly widowed, heartbroken and coaching his 11 year old stepson through his first love. Colin Firth is a writer nursing a broken heart that falls for his housekeeper, even though neither of them can understand a word the other is saying. Bill Nighy is hilarious as aging rockstar Billy Mack, whose self proclaimed money grab of a new Christmas song serves as a constant thread through the film. Sprinkle in Keira Knightley, Andrew Lincoln (long before "The Walking Dead"!) and Rowan Atkinson, surround them with a sincere, funny and sweet screenplay by Richard Curtis, let him take the directing chair as he did with "Notting Hill" and "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and enjoy. It's incredible that he juggles this many stories and folks and draws you into nearly every tale. Only one story thread, involving Martin Freeman as a stand-in working in the adult film industry, falls flat, feeling forced in from another, much less classy film. But its a minor misstep in an otherwise flawless film. Curtis said that when he was a teenager, he'd be disappointed if there wasn't nudity in a film, so he didn't want to disappoint his younger self. I think you could cut the entire story line without any damage to the film! Hugh Grant's never been more charming. His scenes sparring with American President Billy Bob Thornton are excellent. This is a fun film no matter how many times you've seen it. It will tug your heart while making you laugh out loud. After enjoying these folks for a couple hours, you really will believe that love IS all around you and that there's NO better time than Christmas to share those feelings with loved ones. This superb romantic comedy is a modern classic, a must watch every holiday season and gets an A.

What a strange but oddly watchable holiday movie SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE is 40 years after it bombed in theaters back in 1985. The story OF the film is certainly more entertaining than most of the actual movie. A complete waste of top-billed Dudley Moore, most of the film's charms come from Henry Mancini's music score and a lot of scenes with Santa and his reindeer flying across the skies of Manhattan. The scene with Santa soaring around and between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center haunts. Producers Alexander and Ilya Salkind knew a thing or two about soaring. Their massive hit "Superman" had blown up the box office in 1978 thanks to Christopher Reeve flying to blockbuster status. They approach the legend of Santa Claus with the same eye for special effects and big budget wonders, but this time out, there's not a lot of magic to be found for most of the film. David Huddleston is fine as Santa, bringing caring, warmth and the appropriate heft to the role, but scenes depicting the North Pole, the toy factory and a winter wonderland somehow manage to look very cheap. Shot on the 007 Stage at Pinewood, some of the sets are massive, but very tacky. Besides Huddleston, the film gets several other things right. John Lithgow is a great villain, BZ, a nasty modern day Scrooge and the head of BZ Toys. His Christmas bears are stuffed with sawdust, nails and glass, which conjures up a great Dan Aykroyd bit in the original season of SNL. He's big, loud and sports the worst set of choppers this side of the pond. Burgess Meredith is in the film for three minutes but brings real power to his role as The Ancient Elf who sends Santa Claus out for his first global trip on Christmas Eve. The score by Mancini was one of the biggest of his career, filling 85 minutes of the film's 107 minute running time. It's beautiful, fun and is the most memorable part of the movie. The title song "Every Christmas Eve" with lyrics by the legendary Leslie Bricusse (Scrooge, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) is a classic. The scenes with live reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh are impressive and well shot. But, Santa's bag is less than half full of the "good". If he's checking his list twice, he's going to find a lot of coal. Poor Dudley Moore must have been paid a fortune. He looks miserable throughout spilling lines about having "elf control" (self control, get it!). He's a gifted comedian, but seeing him shackled by the family friendly rating and the role is dismal. Moore called the film "a career ender" when he saw the first screening with Lithgow. He wasn't wrong, he never had another major hit after this dropped like a reindeer turd at the box office. Other than Christian Patrick as Joe, the street kid, the child actors are bad. Carrie Kie Heim as Cornelia, a little rich girl who befriends Joe, is saddled with a truly lethal haircut and a lot of wooden lines of dialogue. Huddleston does his best with the kids, and he and Patrick build some nice rapport. The screenplay by David Newman is....not his finest hour. This guy wrote "Bonnie and Clyde","Superman" and "What's Up Doc"! I have no words....everybody has an off day.... The film is packed with commercial brand placements for McDonalds and Coca-Cola. I am sure their cash helped pay for the then huge $50 million budget, but the film only did $27 million in theaters. That's a lot of Big Macs lost. Director Jeannot Szwarc had "Jaws 2" and "Somewhere In Time" under his belt, but after this and the Salkind's "Supergirl" bombed, he went on to direct TV series episodes for the rest of his formidable career. SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE is, to this day, a massive hit in the UK. It's a generation's favorite Christmas film and still plays well there. Here in the states, it's a fascinating relic from the 80's that has moments of holiday spirit with a lot of excess filler in between the presents. It gets a C. For the record, I had to work really hard to forget that Patch TV commercial to get anywhere near that C rating.

Ethan Hawke has emerged as one of our best American actors. His role as famed song lyricist Lorenz Hart in Richard Linklater's excellent film BLUE MOON is his best performance to date. 90% of the film takes place in famed Broadway restaurant/bar Sardi's, where caricatures of famed stage stars line the walls. Hawke's portrayal of Hart is not a caricature. He physically transforms into a much older man, always ready for a cigar, a shot of whiskey and a dose of gossip. The dirtier the story, the better. Bartender Eddie (the great Bobby Cannavale) is trying to hold any liquor from Hart, as he's made Eddie promise not to ever serve him a drink again. This is going to be a tough night to stay sober. Hart's Broadway songwriting partner Richard Rodgers (Andrew Scott, reliably perfect) is about to come in after the opening night of "Oklahoma!" on stage. It's the first show that Rodgers wrote with Oscar Hammerstein (Simon Delaney) and Hart knows it's going to be Rodgers biggest success. It's opening night of a musical that would run for 2200+ performances. Bitter? Jealous? Hart is somewhere many Manhattan blocks ahead of those two things. Hawke spills endless, hilarious, biting and quick witted one liners to anyone in the vicinity of his corner spot at the bar. It's also a big night for him, finally seeing his loyal pen pal again, 20 year old college student Elizabeth (Margaret Qualley from "The Substance"). Linklater's direction is flawless, pulling together one eventful evening, in one location that feels fast paced, suspenseful and funny as hell. Hawke also has moments of such deep, profound sadness and realization that you hang on every word. I felt like I had a corner booth at Sardi's on a rainy night, circa 1943. The film oozes authenticity, but also benefits from Linklater's gift for creating deep characters out of a 90 minute conversation. The screenplay by Robert Kaplow, based on the actual letters of Hart and Elizabeth serves up so much wit, profanity and smart debate that there are surprises around every corner. Writer EB White (Patrick Kennedy) is sitting in another booth and joins the conversation, the proper, intelligent ying to Hart's madcap, go-for-broke yang. Jonah Lees (Superman) also joins as a soldier on leave, providing piano accompaniment and plenty of conversation with Eddie and Hart. I didn't know where the relationship with Elizabeth and Lorenz was heading. In Hawke and Qualley's hands, it's a fascinating portrayal of unrequited love and ambition, with unexpected heart just beneath the surface. As you'd expect, Hart has plenty to say about Rodgers new songwriting partnership. Watching Hart hurl barbs at Rodgers and Hammerstein, with the present knowledge that the two went on to become the greatest duo in history (The Sound of Music, Carousel, South Pacific, The King and I, Flower Drum Song) makes you wince. Hart is so convinced that Hammerstein is a corn pone, boonies version of his erudite sophistication that he paints himself in a very tight corner sturdily framed by his alcoholism and mental illness. If you love movies with verbal sparring (I do), this one is heaven. I've always been a fan of Hawke since 1989's "Dead Poets Society" and his character actor work in films like "The Magnificent Seven", but it was 2017's "First Reformed" that raised my eyebrows. He was fantastic as Rev. Toller in Paul Schraders's brilliant and challenging religious drama. His immersion and transformation into Lorenz Hart is amazing. He feels older, shorter and embodies the wealthy 40's New Yorker with every fiber of his being. Hawke will be nominated for Best Actor for this role and I hope he wins, it's a fantastic performance. This is the best Woody Allen film in decades, not made by Woody. BLUE MOON is sophisticated, smart and funny as hell, while also painting one of the saddest portraits of fame and insecurity I've ever seen. Come on, get out of the rain and grab a leather booth. Sardi's is serving up one of the best films of 2025. It gets an A+. "No one ever loved me that much...."